30th December 2005,
It's 12.38pm Lunch time in another 20 mins. Take the time to write the blog. I remember I shared in the EPCC Forum about forgive and forget, and now I am actually questioning the reality- whether is this really exist? Forgive and forget? In His Word, He remember our sins no more. God forgive and forget, completely wipe off our sins, can't remember anything else- how about us? How do we forgive and allow the reconcilation with our brother and sister in Christ, once hurt us?
This experience coming back again last night, It has been 3 years, I thought it's all done with, it's all over, but I can't believe it coming back again. Is it means I haven't forgive- checking deep my heart? How can I react over such matter? What happen?
Last night was in ex-House. Had dinner with Felix and Helena, then invited Andrew to come over our home for fellowship. There come a call- it work out well, I try to tone down my voice, be cool and answer the phone- but he keep on digging back the past, keep on torturing me with what I've done to him which I did not, keep on never endingly wants me to answer to where we can take this friendship level to? What do you mean? Friendship, acquaintance level? Yes, I did not denied that we once a friend, once acquintance...but now, I don't know how to take that level? I forgive- and that's it, I forgive..all the hurts, I forgive, yet he never wanna let me go. Have I forgiven? I'm so deepenly sad, he made me shed tears again- a punching bag. Teach me how to react? Felix said you should just go on with life, put your feet down, not emotionally shaken by this- not worth. I know, but I can't help to be sad. I'm scared. That night, I received 2 smses from him. I knew it will not be good one, and indeed so. This morning I received another 2 smses- make up to 4 smses, all cursing me, hurting me. Sad case- I'm not angry, am I hurt, of coz...but I just so sad- pitiful that such a man that claimed to knew God's Word strongly can react this way to the fella believers- no many negatives things. I got to be mean- I don't want to, but here I got to be firm...
Lord teach me what to do? I forgive him as You have forgiven me, but I can't love him as You loved me. You send people to love him and help him- I can't Lord. I don't know why this can just drag on till 3 years. it's so tiring- the friendship once shared now so tiring. Teach me in such situation- guide my heart, I need Your wisdom- only You counsel I seek. I can't pray for him Lord- I just couldn't Lord- hope You understand. I remember him and trust it to You. Now the problems is not longer mine- It's Yours, and I trust You will handle it, You will take care of it. I refuse to feel guilty and angry, I let go all the hurts and unforgiveness- it's all in Your hands. Lord, take it, and heal my heart- any bitterness, hurts, heal, and it's health, In Jesus's Name. I'm freed from all emotional entanglement. Amen!
It's 12.38pm Lunch time in another 20 mins. Take the time to write the blog. I remember I shared in the EPCC Forum about forgive and forget, and now I am actually questioning the reality- whether is this really exist? Forgive and forget? In His Word, He remember our sins no more. God forgive and forget, completely wipe off our sins, can't remember anything else- how about us? How do we forgive and allow the reconcilation with our brother and sister in Christ, once hurt us?
This experience coming back again last night, It has been 3 years, I thought it's all done with, it's all over, but I can't believe it coming back again. Is it means I haven't forgive- checking deep my heart? How can I react over such matter? What happen?
Last night was in ex-House. Had dinner with Felix and Helena, then invited Andrew to come over our home for fellowship. There come a call- it work out well, I try to tone down my voice, be cool and answer the phone- but he keep on digging back the past, keep on torturing me with what I've done to him which I did not, keep on never endingly wants me to answer to where we can take this friendship level to? What do you mean? Friendship, acquaintance level? Yes, I did not denied that we once a friend, once acquintance...but now, I don't know how to take that level? I forgive- and that's it, I forgive..all the hurts, I forgive, yet he never wanna let me go. Have I forgiven? I'm so deepenly sad, he made me shed tears again- a punching bag. Teach me how to react? Felix said you should just go on with life, put your feet down, not emotionally shaken by this- not worth. I know, but I can't help to be sad. I'm scared. That night, I received 2 smses from him. I knew it will not be good one, and indeed so. This morning I received another 2 smses- make up to 4 smses, all cursing me, hurting me. Sad case- I'm not angry, am I hurt, of coz...but I just so sad- pitiful that such a man that claimed to knew God's Word strongly can react this way to the fella believers- no many negatives things. I got to be mean- I don't want to, but here I got to be firm...
Lord teach me what to do? I forgive him as You have forgiven me, but I can't love him as You loved me. You send people to love him and help him- I can't Lord. I don't know why this can just drag on till 3 years. it's so tiring- the friendship once shared now so tiring. Teach me in such situation- guide my heart, I need Your wisdom- only You counsel I seek. I can't pray for him Lord- I just couldn't Lord- hope You understand. I remember him and trust it to You. Now the problems is not longer mine- It's Yours, and I trust You will handle it, You will take care of it. I refuse to feel guilty and angry, I let go all the hurts and unforgiveness- it's all in Your hands. Lord, take it, and heal my heart- any bitterness, hurts, heal, and it's health, In Jesus's Name. I'm freed from all emotional entanglement. Amen!
